THE MASTHEAD
Editor-in-Chief: Paul Lintilhac
Executive Editor: Zack De
Managing Editor: Eli Lichtenstein
Publisher: Joseph Z. T. Mesfin
Treasurer: Kate B. Miller

Read Issue 11.1!

THE MASTHEAD
Editor-in-Chief: Paul Lintilhac
Publisher: Ted Wojcik
Executive Editor: Zack De

THE MASTHEAD
Editor-in-Chief: Paul Lintilhac
Publisher: Ted Wojcik
Executive Editor: Zach De

THE MASTHEAD
Editor-in-Chief: Paul Lintilhac
Publisher: Ted Wojcik
Executive Editor: Zach De

Vajazzling. [vuh-jaz-ling]— the art of applying hundreds of Swarovski crystals to the area immediately around a woman’s vulva. It’s a new, invisible fashion fad conceived by Completely Bare Spa in New York City, and it’s gaining ground among top celebrities—most notably Jennifer Love Hewitt. Hewitt described her experience with the trend on Lopez Tonight, where she said vajazzling was “great” and helped her get over an unpleasant break-up.

Vajazzling is a simple process. You go to one of Completely Bare’s spas, get your long, curly pubes removed by way of bikini wax, have one of their specialized technicians superglue a bunch of sparkly rhinestones to your pussy, and voilà! Your unattractive twat shines like a disco ball from 1976! In fact, it’s so simple that you can even do it at home. Completely Bare Spa sells vajazzling kits online, so no need to travel all the way to New York to get your pussy BeDazzled!

Now I may be old-fashioned, but in the olden days, vaginas looked like vaginas, not gaudy jewelry. Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for a woman’s right to what goes in, out, and on her body (vaginal flatulence excluded). But extravagant though it may be, vajazzling is just another way to demean women and tell them their beavers and mud flaps are hideous. It’s a slap in the face to the body acceptance movement.

Where are the true vagina lovers out there, the muff-divers who don’t require overpriced crystals to lick pussy? Surely not at that spa, purchasing over-the-top Austrian bling-bling for their hairy beavers.

Completely Bare as of yet doesn’t sell crystallized tattoos for penises, and I’ll admit that the idea of shimmering scrotums isn’t as attractive as glittering vaginas.

But in a world where you can put tacky jewels on just about anything, why not? Why stop with genitals? You can bedazzle your dog, your boring professor, even the Venus de Milo!
The point being, ladies: your fur pie is beautiful and you don’t need tawdry embellishments to make it, or anything else, attractive. You don’t need to vajazzle like J. Love to feel good. A nice, thick dildo will suffice.

THE MASTHEAD
Editor-in-Chief: Paul Lintilhac
Publisher: Ted Wojcik
Executive Editor: Zach De

Our Favorite Lecturers

There would be no great classes without great teachers. The following is a listing, in no particular order, of just a few of the accomplished professors at Dartmouth College. We do not claim that this is an exhaustive list—unfortunately, no single person on our staff has studied under every professor. And we are not so arrogant to claim that these are the “best” professors. But they are damn good ones—and we’ll challenge anyone who says otherwise.

Read the full story

hen I cruise Craigslist, I am always a bit disappointed. No, it’s not that I don’t approve of selling that old couch or those books we’ve read once and since forgotten. What bothers me is the one section gay and bisexual men pay serious attention to: the men for men (m4m) personals.

If you’ve never visited the m4m personals, I can assure you that it is nothing like the other Craigslist personals. The women for women (w4w), women for men (w4m), and men for women (m4w) posts are extremely tame in comparison. While the w4w, w4m, and m4w sections mainly list requests for dates with someone living in the area (with a sprinkling of gratuitous sex appeals), the m4m personals could be called an orgy of sexual fantasies in contrast. Men are overt in asking for just about any type of sex possible, ranging from vanilla (blowjobs), to kinky (leather, S&M), to outright risky (barebacking—meaning condomless anal sex). Indeed, it is essentially impossible to post an ad solely for a date on the m4m section of Craigslist; not only would it stick out like a sore thumb, but users (namely queer men who visit the site) would respond negatively to the ad. We’re not even talking about the “casual encounters” section here—this is the regular section.

Far be it for me to decide what other people should do in their own sex lives. In fact, I feel quite the opposite. People of all genders and sexualities should not identify any single sexual kink as “sinful,” “wrong,” or morally “unacceptable.” The issue isn’t about fornication either, especially because queer people can’t marry. However, we as a community need to be conscious of the kind of messages we are sending out into the world. Our Craigslist ads can be viewed by just about anyone with an internet connection, including straight males and females. When we flood a site that should be about “dating” with postings about gratuitous sex, we are reaffirming preconceived notions about gay men: that they are obsessed with and driven by sex. This would not be such a dilemma if that was the one image we wanted others to see. But it isn’t. We as a community want to show others that we are in committed relationships, especially when we make the same-sex marriage argument. We want to show others that we are capable of love and intimacy; otherwise, what would be the point of marriage? By reaffirming and embracing the sex-crazed stereotype, we degrade ourselves and prevent progress.

In addition, I wish to address another issue with the postings, which is the general close-mindedness. Usually, ads are exclusive they are meant for men with specific body types or mannerisms (masculine or feminine), as well as a giant range of traits like hair color, HIV status, race, age, penis size, etc. To me, this is what is most damaging to our community, one which prides itself on honesty (namely, being comfortable with our sexuality) and acceptance. If our community is to be accepting, our hook-ups can’t be decided on things we have no control over, including race. Part of the new sexual revolution is that we open ourselves up to different kinds of sex, with different kinds of people, in different ways, and that we recognize this diversity of experiences as positive and healthy. I am personally offended when I see an ad that says “white dudes only” because it displays backward thinking where we must identify and divide everything that is considered “different.” We are better than this. We have evolved past the separate-but-equal fallacy of Plessy v. Ferguson. We need to get back on track, not make arbitrary distinctions, and practice the acceptance that we love to preach.

Lastly, I wish to address something about the inherent nature of Craigslist: the tendency of people to lie about themselves. I think many people on the site have to lie about themselves in order to get a response to their posts because we insist on a particular standard ideal. We want others to be everything: young, masculine, “vgl” (“very good looking”), with a big dick. Because we have this ideal, we force people to lie—maybe say you’re 30 instead of 35, or add an extra inch or two to your dick size. It’s unfortunate that anyone would be insecure enough about himself enough to have to lie, but the nature of Craigslist doesn’t allow people to be themselves. This is because, again, the m4m section of Craigslist is so focused on sex and looks, rather than personalities. Again, our community prides itself on honesty and acceptance, yet the m4m section of Craigslist presents only one point-of-view.

So what are the alternatives to Craigslist or Craigslist-like forums? We could start by reassessing ourselves and why many of us feel the need to hook up through a site like Craigslist. We could start by changing Craigslist and becoming more open by allowing for different sexual and nonsexual experiences. We could all switch to other, “true” dating sites, like OKCupid. Let’s appear as the honest, open, and diverse community that we are meant to represent.

hoosing courses can be a bit daunting as a first-year, but luckily, upperclassmen are around to offer advice. We reached out to students across campus to find a list of great professors—this list is not exhaustive, but it is a sampling of student accounts of professors whose classes we have enjoyed over the years. For more suggestions, check out previous first-year issues in the DFP online archives at www.dartmouth.edu/~thepress

Michael Bronski

Women’s and Gender Studies

Michael Bronski brings his considerable experience as an activist and writer to the classroom. His classes, which use gender and queer theory to critique popular culture, are concerned primarily with improving the writing of his students. As a veteran freelance journalist, Bronski offers something that not many professors can—an eye for developing prose that is as didactic as it stylized. And although most professors at Dartmouth are accessible, Bronski truly sets the standard. You’ll learn as much in his office as you will in the lecture hall. Besides the unique subject matter of his classes, Bronski is a great guy and everyone at Dartmouth should get to know him.

James Dorsey

Japanese

Professor Dorsey is a really easy-going guy—while many professors put off students by appearing cold and too busy, Dorsey is easy to approach and to get along with. He cares about his students on a personal level, so once you’ve taken his class you can feel you have a friend amongst the profs. One student commented that, “I consider him to be a mentor and aside from being a complete nerd, he’s pretty interesting, too.”

Eric Edmonds

Economics

Eric Edmonds is not exactly what you expect to find in the Economics department. His enthusiastic lectures, equal parts brilliance and sarcastic wit, are captivating, accessible, and enlightening. A well-published authority on the economics of child labor, Edmonds’ Development Economics class has now become a core offering of the department’s major tracks, including an advanced seminar counterpart. Just make sure you stay on top of your work, lest you become the subject of his infamous sarcasm.

Linda Fowler

Government

Professor Fowler is that grandma you had that bakes you pie, but gives you that deathly disappointed and upset look when you’ve taken that pie and put some in your kid sister’s hair. But don’t let this turn you away: It’s a good motivator. She’s a tough grader, but fair, and she’s not just accessible—she insists on guiding you toward success in her class. Fowler’s primary focus lies in the field of American government, so if that’s your interest, find your way into her class.

Andrew Garrod

Education

Garrod’s EDUC 20: Educational Issues course demands a lot of reading and reading outside of class, but the result is a highly engaging and insightful looks at American education. Through energetic lectures, creative assignments, and a stimulating range of assigned readings and resources, his classes cultivate an inquisitive and reflective spirit and provide the sort of education to which schools aspire. Despite the large size of his classes, Garrod manages to create the atmosphere of personal education and engagement.

John Kopper

Comparative Literature and Russian

With his maddeningly extensive reservoir of references, his compelling eclecticism and his unremitting elucidation of the recondite and the obscure, Kopper restores to literature the long-eroded credibility of being a worldly discipline, one that moves beyond the rarefied and turgid word-games of literary theory. His “Literature and Music” class is a peculiar rarity in its scope, exposing students to the broad and rich history of inter-art ventures from opera and program music to MallarmÉ and Shaw. Because he is as (frighteningly) comfortable discussing Adorno and Edward Said as he is French Symbolism or the Russian modernist novel, Kopper is a superb resource inside and outside the classroom. On the whole, his classes are less demanding, more enlightening, and no doubt more memorable than most literature courses at Dartmouth.

David Lagomarsino

History

David Lagomarsino knows his history, he grades fairly, and at the end of the term you will find yourself knowing more about Early Modern Europe than you ever thought possible. Few other professors are able to convey his level of eager interest for the backroom dealings and skullduggery that fill the accounts of his specialty, Europe in the period from 1300-1650 and especially Spain during its Golden Age. Although the Early Modern period is perhaps less studied by undergraduates than others, he combines the analytical skill of a serious historian with the wit of a storyteller as he moves through ranks of Machiavellian politicians, ruthless generals and philandering popes. Even in lecture classes, he manages to involve the entire class in freewheeling discussions—something of a rarity for classes held in a lecture hall.

Adrian Randolph

Art History and Women’s and Gender Studies

During “Visual Cultures of Gender,” Professor Randolph engaged the class by evaluating the way gender was represented in a variety of visual representations that ranged from neoclassic paintings to modern-day advertisements, magazines etc. While he specializes in the well-known Italian Renaissance, he was able to provide refreshing views on the concept of gender in classic art pieces. Randolph is also extremely available outside of class and continues to be very supportive of his students throughout their time at Dartmouth.

Ivy Schweitzer

English and Women’s and Gender Studies

Ivy Schweitzer’s WGST classes can be intense for someone who lacks previous knowledge of the subject, but she’s an incredibly enthusiastic and fascinating professor. Her lectures tend to go a-mile-a-minute, and she covers a broad range of topics, really expecting her students to engage with the material. A tough, but fair grader, Schweitzer is also an English professor, so you will find your writing skills improving throughout your time in her Women’s and Gender Studies classes.

Lucas Swaine

Government

Wait to take GOVT 6: Political Ideas, with him—the readings can be dense, but his lectures have just the right mix of humor and clarity. Take the class with a different prof and, as upperclassmen who made that mistake, warn: you’ll probably hate the course. One of Swaine’s entertaining quirks: he gives out the essay topics in very creative ways—you’ll just have to take the class to see what we mean. Also, despite being a medium-sized class, he still manages to facilitate engaging discussions, so you can get to know your classmates. If you take his class, make sure you stop in on his office hours too—he usually has something interesting to share, from an intriguing article to slang flash cards.

or any freshmen student, choosing classes can be a little daunting. Luckily, upperclassmen are around, ready to pass down some much-needed advice. This list of recommended professors below was compiled by the humanities-heavy DFP after sifting through submissions from students across campus.

Mary Coffey

Art History

Young, enthusiastic, and bespectacled in super hip mod glasses, Professor Coffey is probably one of the cooler teachers you’ll have in your Dartmouth career. Whether lecturing an auditorium-packed introductory art survey or leading a discussion seminar-style, she commands attention with her eloquence, organization, and sophistication. Coffey cares about her students, ready to blitz them in-depth responses to their last minute exam worries and available during office hours to chat with her devoted fan base.

Paul Christesen

Classics

Many hold Professor Christesen in high regard for having turned them into Classics minors, largely due to his CLST 1 course. A Dartmouth ’88, he is often held to be one of the best professors at Dartmouth by students who have taken a course with him—majors and non-majors alike. Christesen has a simple but powerful style of teaching that combines perfectly with his depth of knowledge and incredible sense of humor. More than any other professor at Dartmouth, Christesen focuses on teaching the entire person, not just the material.

Jeremy Rutter

Classics

Professor Rutter is not a teacher for the faint of heart. But if you have even the slightest interest in archaeology or classical Greece, or if you’re just interested in a professor who will keep you challenged, Professor Rutter is your man. He awes his students by consistently being able to cite page numbers of articles he read years ago—but this man is no head-in-his-books academic. He is a talented lecturer capable of keeping his students awake and laughing even during long slideshows in the dark. Plus, he covers his office door with Far Side comics.

Prasad Jayanti

Computer Science

Professor Jayanti is best described as a space cadet; few professors are more animated. His lectures draw from an elaborate fantasy world wherein red and black stickers are to be placed on one’s forehead, a coffee cup is a black-box of supercomputing, and abstract theories are worth getting really, really excited about. He fools his students into believing all of it, too. That’s because once you hear an idea colorfully explained by Jayanti, it’s hard to imagine it any other way.

Eric Edmonds

Economics

Eric Edmonds is not exactly what you expect to find in the Economics department. His enthusiastic lectures, equal parts brilliance and sarcastic wit, are captivating, accessible, and enlightening. A well-published authority on the economics of child labor, Edmonds’ Development Economics class has now become a core offering of the department’s major tracks, including an advanced seminar counterpart. Just make sure you stay on top of your work, lest you become the subject of his infamous sarcasm.

Andrew Garrod

Education

Garrod’s EDUC 20: Educational Issues course demands a lot of reading and reading outside of class, but the result is a highly engaging and insightful looks at American education. Through energetic lectures, creative assignments, and a stimulating range of assigned readings and resources, his classes cultivate an inquisitive and reflective spirit and provide the sort of education to which schools aspire. Despite the large size of his classes, Professor Garrod manages to create the atmosphere of personal education and engagement.

Michael Chaney

English

“I’m trying to minor in Chaney,” one student of the English department’s newly acquired star once said. Chaney teaches classes on topics ranging from early African-American literature to graphic novels. He leads class discussion with an enthusiasm and intellectualism both engaging and challenging, and his impressive oratory skills will make you wish Dartmouth still offered a public speaking program. Always available during office hours to chat with students about everything from their academic interests to Dartmouth’s social scene, Chaney embodies what a Dartmouth professor should be: brilliant, interesting, and interested.

Donald Pease

English

A phenomenal lecturer, veteran Donald Pease has a masterful understanding of’th Century American literature and 20th Century American drama. Pease conducts his classes in a traditional lecture style, speaking for the entirety of the 65 minutes on his interpretation of the various novels and plays assigned for readings. Classes move quickly, and the readings for each class can be long and dense. But Pease is tremendously successful at unifying all the works of literature assigned and portraying the works within the historiographic framework of the time they were written.

Amy Lawrence

Film and Television Studies

Lawrence is the kind of professor that makes you leap out of bed when your alarm goes off. One could discuss, in great length, her merits in blunt list format—her overwhelming command of the course material, her attention to organization and structure in planning her courses, her excellent lectures, her ability to carefully stimulate and guide class discussions, her creativity in assignments and materials—but this wouldn’t matter quite so much if she weren’t such a bright, cheerful presence in the classroom. It’s a rare teacher whose abundance of enthusiasm and endlessly sunny disposition can alone make a class worth taking; it’s another story altogether when that personality also possesses the intellect of a top-notch academic.

Ellis Shookman

German

Taking a language class, or any other course, with Professor Shookman is inevitably an immensely rewarding experience. Professor Shookman is meticulous but patient, incredibly smart but genial, and has a deceptively hilarious sense of humor. Professor Shookman also teaches many excellent literature courses, including one on the Faust tradition.

Lucas Swaine

Government

Wait to take GOVT 6: Political Ideas, with him—the readings can be dense, but his lectures have just the right mix of humor and clarity. Take the class with a different prof and, as upperclassmen who made that mistake, warn: you’ll probably hate the course. One of Swaine’s entertaining quirks: he gives out the essay topics in very creative ways—you’ll just have to take the class to see what we mean. Also, despite being a medium-sized class, he still manages to facilitate engaging discussions, so you can get to know your classmates. If you take his class, make sure you stop in on his office hours too—he usually has something interesting to share, from an intriguing article to slang flash cards.

Benjamin Valentino

Government

A young up-and-comer in the Government department, Valentino offers IR-track classes that explore intricate theories and issues with rare clarity. Valentino’s brilliance is his ability to make difficult subject matters graspable, while still presenting a full and intellectually challenging course load. He’s also extraordinarily knowledgeable and approachable outside of class, so take advantage of his ability and willingness to explain when you a take a course with him.

Colin Calloway

Native American Studies

and History

Colin Calloway’s courses on American Indian history are incredibly enlightening. So much of this history has been tucked under the rug, and Calloway is very good at letting you understand the “new” history within the context of all the American history you’ve been taught. A clever and quick-witted fellow, Calloway makes lectures fun, and he doesn’t kill you with huge research papers either. At the end of the class, you’ll actually feel educated—something distinctly lacking in many other Dartmouth co
urses.

Samuel J. Velez

roBiology ology

One of the most loved professors in the Biology department, Professor Velez is as energetic as he is knowledgeable. And he is very knowledgeable. It is true that his exams are among the most challenging in the department. However, Professor Velez’s clear and detailed lectures make difficult material more than manageable. Most importantly, the information one learns from his class will fascinate even the most cynical humanities major.

Amy Allen

Philosophy and

Women’s and Gender Studies

Dartmouth philosophy professors as often as not seem to have written the book they teach, and yet Amy Allen still stands out as especially knowledgeable. She is a sharp, fast lecturer with a broad knowledge base: she is fluent in Nietzsche and everything else in continental philosophy, but has written a book in feminist theory and is working now on another on social criticism. Most impressive is her high priority for students; she is invested and professional in her classes and expects the same from her students, so expect fair grades and demanding material.

Clarence Hardy

Religion

Clarence Hardy is certainly not one to be missed. His class on religion and American society is one of the most interesting and thought-provoking classes at Dartmouth. He is truly a gentleman and a scholar who knows how to keep the interest of a class while still entertaining all questions, and he often gives a creative option in addition to the standard paper form, enabling students to put texts and authors in conversation with each other.

Mikhail Gronas

Russian

Ask any Russian major or minor about Gronas, and they are far more likely to refer to him simply as Mischa, as if he were a friend instead of a figure of authority. The best thing about having a class with Mischa is his casual, impromptu and highly amusing way of conducting the classroom while bringing fountains of information to the conversation. He’s an imposing, bearded, heavily-accented Russian poet who chain smokes and chucks balls at your head to get you to learn the Cyrillic alphabet. What more do you want?

Karolina Kawiaka

Studio Art

Kawiaka is an absolute sweetheart, always wearing a smile and an optimistic attitude. She’s very understanding and tries to teach in ways that are fresh and adaptable to individuals, so you aren’t just rehashing trite lessons but rather learning through your own discovery and style. She pushes students to achieve to their highest and capability and is a hard prof to disappoint.

Jamie

Horton

Theater

A challenging yet insightful prof, Horton teaches in the Theater department, advises student theater productions, judges for the Frost and Dodd Playwriting Festival, all whilst taking up the director’s chair himself in a number of the department’s main stage productions. Much of theater is about vision—how one incorporates different beliefs and opinions into a single image. Jamie Horton has such an undeniable vision, and the best part is, at the end of the day, you’ll take away a part of that artistic insight.

James Rice

Theater

James Rice represents some of the best Dartmouth has to offer. If you’re looking to make a long-lasting connection with a professor, James Rice is your bloke. Even if you’ve never acted a day in your life before and feel a little nervous about trying something so new, Rice puts all doubts to rest. Once you finish one of his courses, you may find yourself signing up for performance-based undertakings you never thought you would. That’s what Rice is, above all: an eye-opener.

Michael Bronski

Women’s and Gender Studies

Michael Bronski brings his considerable experience as an activist and writer to the classroom. His classes, which use gender and queer theory to critique popular culture, are concerned primarily with improving the writing of his students. As a veteran freelance journalist, Bronski offers something that not many professors can—an eye for developing prose that is as didactic as it stylized. And although most professors at Dartmouth are accessible, Bronski truly sets the standard. You’ll learn as much in his office as you will in the lecture hall. Besides the unique subject matter of his classes, Bronski is a great guy and everyone at Dartmouth should get to know him.