The video, “A Young Girl’s Life,” by Rachel Simmons plays out like a real-life Mean Girls. However, unlike the hit 2004 movie featuring Lindsay Lohan, Simmons’ film explores the real life experiences of high school and middle school girls dealing with bullying that make having a “Burn Book” look like good, clean innocent fun.

The film explores bullying which has reached new levels with the advent of technology. Some of the accounts are utterly horrifying. One segment details the story of Libby who at fourteen years old, suffered from cyber-bullying. This method of bullying—which occurs via the internet or text message—is becoming more prevalent. After being friends with a certain group of “popular” girls for many years, Libby’s best friend turned on her and started sending her text messages that read: “You’re a bitch and you’re a slut and you don’t get that…. get some fucking balls and take a look in the mirror.” These texts continued for months.

One read: “fuck you skanky ass bitch, go stuff your bra and go throw up and apply your pro active, not like any of that helps you though. You’re still the ugliest hoe I know and you are a bitch about it too. F you. Get over yourself and your lack of a life xoxo.” Despite the frequency and cruelty of texts like these, Simmons explains that only five percent seek the help of an adult in these bullying situations.
However, bullying is not only verbal—physical fighting between girls is another type of bullying that teenage girls participate in daily.

Carla, a sixteen year old who grew up in a rough part of Boston, is the leader of a “crew”, a quasi-gang that consists of a group of friends. The groups’ interactions with other girls and other crews often escalate to a situation that sometimes spiral out of control. Fighting is their “problem solver” and a regular way of life for Carla and her closest friends—the goal is to be tough.

When most of the time fights, no one calls the police—a common cultural belief is that fights between girls are not as violent as those between boys. Because society views girls as docile creatures unaccustomed to physical violence, their fighting is often ignored. But even after the physical level of fighting, the bullying persists via text messages and the Internet.

Carla even explains that she never knew why she hated certain girls. It was not until a mentor started to work with Carla that she realized that it’s “not cute” to beat other girls as a way to resolves issues.

The documentary also deals with self-acceptance. Simmons met with a group of youngsters who are a part of “Take a Second Look”, a group whose aim is to address the struggles young girls face and how the media influences their self-image. In a segment, Simmons had the members view the music video, “When I Grow Up,” by the Pussycats Dolls and then asked the girls, “What did you think of that video? What is the message?”

The responses were mostly positive—many explained that they liked the video, and it made them want to be famous and appear as the women on screen.

The video does show off the female physique but is extremely tame compared to most music videos. The message encourages young girls to have sexy and flawless (i.e. unrealistic) bodies. Unsurprisingly, the girls expressed bafflement at why they looked different from the bodies featured on screen. When it comes to body image, there is always an emphasis on what needs to be changed or adjusted to fit the unrealistic mold of perfection that the media perpetuates.

Ana Lu, a young girl interviewed, is constantly confronted with the fact that society rejects people of her size. For example, when she went to buy a dress for her Quinceañera, she spent hours trying to find dresses that would fit. Ana Lu has ostensibly absorbed the message that she is somehow unfit for this society. She thinks about her weight fifty percent of the time, explaining: “Everything I do revolves around my weight.” Her experience has literally and emotionally been cut down to size, to the point where Ana Lu feels that she loves herself some days, while others days she hates herself.

Whose responsibility is it to help teenagers reject the images thrown at them through music videos and pop culture? Who can encourage young girls to have a positive self-image?

Parents and other mentors play a primary role in teaching young girls that the images in the media and the façade presented to them is an unrealistic, consumer culture ideal. Parents can teach their daughters how to handle the stresses of being a young girl and how to not fall into the trap that the American media so effectively establishes.

Girls need to know that they can have mentors and that there is more to life than bullying and fighting. Carla got out of the fighting scene because of Meva, a mentor, who works for a Boston police center that identifies girls involved in violence before they get in serious trouble. Meva has shown Carla how to be a better person and helped her to realize the risks she faces if she continues fighting.

We need to tell our daughters that they are beautiful and the beauty we speak of comes from the inside. If young girls learn to love themselves first, they will not resort to bullying and fighting.

Sonia, another teenage girl in the video, sums up the challenge young girls face in America and explains what she now knows: “I think that the hardest thing for a girl throughout her whole life is just being able to believe in herself and to never let anybody bring her down, no matter what.” I hope to see more young girls realize this. At the end of her senior year, Sonia said, “the best thing about being a girl is that we can do anything. I feel that nobody can stop us. We are like wonder
woman.” This sense of empowerment can be fostered and sustained through parenting and mentorship.

Every girl can grow up to be a healthy and happy woman, but having someone there to tell a young teen that she is important makes all the difference in the world. Once a young girl gets through middle and high school, she can probably tackle any battle that comes her way, with a supportive role model in her life. Young girls, tomorrow’s women, have endless potential. Just be sure to remind them of the strength they carry inside themselves; they will listen.

These are some of the words Dartmouth women used to describe sorority rush: stress, overwhelming, exciting, HECTIC, fake, and emotionally exhausting.

Over the past four days, I have talked to students participating in rush, affiliated sisters, and unaffiliated students. The general consensus was that the rush process for men “is much better and easier” than that for women. In addition, co-ed rush is “relaxed and very informal,” according to Reyna Ramirez ‘10.

On Sunday, January 10th, I registered for rush in Carson 106. While filling out my application, I wondered, why do they need so much information about me? Clubs I participated in during high school? Amaka Nneji ‘10, an affiliated student who works for the Panhellenic Council, explained that the long registration process is required for those who become part of national sororities.

The registration is standard for all national sorority organizations and Dartmouth sororities are not allowed to change the process. Nevertheless, the Council is considering ways to make it less detailed and more inviting.

Like many women on campus, Nneji says, “Every year, rush makes me love sororities even more!” Her excitement and dedication to rush represents her commitment to the Panhellenic Council. After two days of rush, I grew to appreciate a sisterhood that was both inclusive and exciting.

On the other hand, a recent rush participant commented: “[Rush] is socially terrible. It’s the most fake way to judge another person, without real substance.”

Another student said potential new members essentially sign up to flirt with sisters without getting to really know the people they meet.
This student felt that she was “making decisions based off of manufactured descriptions in a planned system.”

A Fayer resident explains, “This is the way rush week is, and a better way has yet to come along, so we go with it.”

The rush process reminded me of a moment in my past when I wanted to fit in with a specific group of people. Nothing else really mattered to me. I felt an immediate connection between my emotions the first nights of rush and the emotions I had felt some years ago. The feeling was familiar, negative, and fake, but that changed over a period of time.

The emotional turmoil that Dartmouth women experience during rush lasts about a week, but the rewards are highly worth it for the majority of Dartmouth women who go through the process. Even if the concept of sisterhood may initially seem forced, people still want a place of acceptance.

Throughout rush, I was surrounded by groups of women who felt lost in an overwhelming field of people. One girl explained that she was aware of the fact that she knew little about sororities but wanted to continue with rush because she wanted to make more friends and expand her experiences. She wanted a safe place on campus. She wanted a community.

Jessica Duncan ’12 proposes a solution for rush week: a two-faced coin. Rush is like “a two-faced coin because of its arbitrariness. Just flip a coin!” I encourage the next group of women who enter registration to remember the two-faced coin: always fair, but never predictable.

Sorority names will always connote certain stereotypes, but it is up to the individual to see through the stereotypical window and understand her sorority for what it means to her.

Rush is not for everyone. In fact, some people don’t even receive a bid. The emotional effect that has on a student is difficult. It’s always good to remember that college is a playing field; you will struggle, and you might fumble a few times, but somewhere in the maelstrom of excitement, pressure, and stress, you will find special moments of euphoria.

You may not find that happiness during rush week but it lies embedded in the myriad opportunities at Dartmouth. Just be willing to step on the field and search for your moment of exhilaration.

As Jessica Duncan said, “Just flip a coin!” On any path you take on Dartmouth campus, whether you are affiliated or unaffiliated, will grow and discover more about yourself.