Baker-Berry, proud home of several many potential candidates for the Dartmouth 8. Photograph by Candais Crivello.

The reason why Dartmouth is better than any other Ivy League school is the fact that you can have sex on it’s mascot. The green may be a risky place to bump uglies, but then again, that is precisely the reason why it has earned a spot on the Dartmouth Seven.

In case you have no life, the Dartmouth seven is a list of places where you have to have sex before you graduate. Some may think (and by some I mean I) this list harkens back to the seven deadly sins, or sailing the seven seas, or the lucky number seven, and for that reason they may be attached to that number.

But please, allow me to retort. After all, its sinking the 8-ball that wins you the game, 8 is the Chinese lucky number, are 8 planets in the solar system (fuck you, Pluto). In fact, the Dartmouth “7” is actually not completely agreed upon in some of the worse educated echelons of Dartmouth society, and frequently a stray 8th will slip in there (usually golf course). For the record, the agreed upon Dartmouth 7 as of now consists of:

President’s Lawn
The Green
Bema
Stacks
Steps of Dartmouth Hall
Top of the Hop
Football Field

This pivotal decision is obviously not up to the DFP. The Dartmouth 8 should be for the people, by the people. In a recent interview with Dartmouth community members, I asked what location they would add to the Dartmouth seven.

These were their responses:

Inside an SNS truck – FoCo Grill guy

The Climbing Gym – unknown

In the pool – Alyson Picket ‘11 “bathing suits allowed, water jets not included”

The Tower Room x4 – Jacob Batchelor ’12 “Make sure she’s not a screamer”

Golf course – Riley Kane ‘12 [get a hole in one]

The pendulum in Fairchild – Santiago Romero’11 (for that slow, gentle sex)

First Floor Berry – unknown

Graveyard – unknown (so totally blasphemous)

Foco x3 – Mandy brasher ’12 (mmm…)

Dick’s House – unknown {as long as you’re both sick…}

On the swing of the metal beam sculpture behind the Hood Museum – Nathaniel Seymour ’12 (so postmodern)

Novack x2 – Chistopher Valleu ‘12 (extra point during finals)

The pond when its frozen over – my personal fave

On a pong table x2 – unknown (extra points if it doesn’t flip over)

Dr. Seuss room – Anonymous (where the fuck is that?)

We think a lot of these places blow the Bema and the Steps of Dartmouth Hall away. If you agree, send us your opinion (blitz “DFP”) and we will tally your votes for the next issue.