Indentured Journalism

Journalism schools encourage their students to publish widely, right? Durga Raghunath, a graduate student at the Indiana University School of Journalism, recently found out otherwise. After Raghunath wrote a piece for a local alternative newspaper, The Bloomington Independent, she was told she could no longer write for the campus paper, The Indiana Daily Student. Although Raghunath was not a full time staffer, The Daily Student does not want writers penning articles in newspapers they consider competition. Raghunath said, "I think the [Daily Student] is entertaining delusions of grandeur if they are considering themselves as competition for…the Independent…They are taking things a little too far." Thank goodness nothing like that happens at Dartmouth. A Bigger Threat Than a Fair Recount?

Apparently, the Secret Service considers heavenly threats to the "President" to be worth attention. Glenn Given, a student at SUNY-Stony Brook, recently found this out after he wrote a campus newspaper editorial this month entitled "Editorial: Dear Jesus Christ, King of Kings, all I ask is that you smite George W. Bush." Though the editorial was obviously intended as satire (the editorial also asked Jesus to smite MTV’s Carson Daly), Secret Service agents soon confronted Given and treated him as if he had threatened the life of the "President." According to The Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press, the Secret Service agents demanded that he submit to psychological tests and had Given sign waivers so the agents could search his home and view his medical records. Given the unhealthy obession we have with bashing George W. Bush, we are now very afraid.

No Free Trade For You!

You might think the Seattle World Trade Organization protesters and labor union members are the only opponents of expanded trade with China. Not so! This week, Bush administration officials were up in arms after discovering that China has been expanding trade…with Iraq, that is. Reports that China had violated the United Nations Security Council’s sanctions on Iraq were met with outrage from Bush’s national security advisor, Condoleezza Rice. Chinese companies allegedly sold fiber optics that could be used to repair command centers like the ones the Bush administration just blew up in the recent bombing of Iraq. Back off, Iraq! Only Americans are allowed to take advantage of China’s slave labor. They’ve Got a New Guinea Now? This Wednesday, Conan O’Brien asked his guest former Republican Presidential Candidate Bob Dole whether George W. Bush was getting up to speed on foreign affairs. Dole said of Bush: "Well, he got this new globe for Christmas… he found a lot of new countries." Straight from the mouth of the GOP’s much, much, much elder statesman.

Will the Real Lynne Cheney Please Stand Up?

Taking a page from former second lady Tipper Gore, Lynne Cheney, the wife of "Vice President" Dick Cheney, recently decided to speak out against offensive music lyrics. She said, "Eminem is certainly, I think, the most extreme example of rock lyrics used to demean women, rock lyrics used to advocate violence against women, violence against gay people." Cheney being such an avid defender of the gay community, we must wonder if Lynne Cheney considers it offensive to deny that people are gay, like, say, her own daughter, Mary.

Last year, ABC’s Cokie Roberts asked Lynne Cheney: "It’s so hard on families, these campaigns. And you have a daughter who has now declared that she is openly gay. Are you worried?" Lynne Cheney exclaimed: "Mary has never declared such a thing!" and said she was shocked it was even brought up. This, despite the fact that Mary Cheney had confirmed her sexual orientation in the lesbian magazine, Girlfriends. We can’t wait to hear Lynne Cheney’s other ideas about how parents can protect their children.

Electrode Cures More Than Just Back Pain

A Winston-Salem, N.C. woman was the lucky recipient of an unintended side-effect while undergoing treatment for back pain. Her doctor, Stuart Meloy was attempting to find the source of her pain, using a so-called spinal cord "stimulator." The "trial and error" spinal treatment can sometimes cause patients to cry out in pain, but according to Dr. Meloy, the patient made a "different" sound. When he inquired, the woman said breathlessly, "You’re going to have to teach my husband how to do that!" The enterprising doctor is attempting to market the device as a remedy for orgasmic dysfunction. On an unrelated note, Dick’s House has reported an increase in student complaints of back pain.

Written by the Editorial Board compiled by Timothy Waligore "In Wonderland" by Adam Morgan